Talk for Ultreya Friday Oct 9, 2020
Topic: How do I see God working in my life right now?
Thank you for having me. I am curious how I came to mind, but trust that it is God calling me, through Marna to tell you a bit of my story. I feel extremely grateful to have a chance to share some of my thoughts with you. You know I use to feel like if I didn’t have a tangible miracle to share then it wasn’t worth sharing, but the fact is that I see HIM know, like never before. I see HIM in everything I do everyday and that is a change, a big one. – Perhaps even a mini miracle.
A bit of background
I was born into a Catholic home, attending Church every Sunday and attending school at our Lady of Fatima. I walked away as a late teen and experience my early 20s without God in my life.
I returned to the church after a traumatic relationship. In hindsight, I was longing for something but didn’t know what. I can’t even say that I came back to the church for me and my relationship with God but somehow things were good.
My life seemed to be in order, following my desire for marriage, children, the opportunity to go back to school, having a great job, and a wonderful support system and the community surrounding my family and myself. Again, I didn’t see it as God being a part of that, but instead payoff for my hard work and efforts.
In 2007 ish, I left the church as I came head to head with a burden related to my faith and the church. I felt betrayed, jaded and angry. Almost simultaneously, my marriage started to suffer and things were not as content as they were before, as if something, crucial was missing.
My marriage dissolved and one separated, I spent five extremely long years trying to heal from the loss and the guilt of that commitment I took very seriously. I read books, meditated, took personal development courses, went through Divorce Care Groups, counseling and yet I just couldn’t find peace.
I felt as though I was slowly dying inside.
Earlier this year, my family, once again as offered several times before, brought forward an opportunity to join “Alpha”. At this point, I was tired, hopeless, and willing to try anything.
During those 8 weeks, something happened to me. With some powerful prayer warriors working in the background, I’m sure, it wasn’t long before I accepted the Trinity into my life, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, boy did things change and so very quickly! All I had to do was surrender and allow HIM to take the wheel and that I chose to do.
- Since then HE has shown up in so many areas of my life, both small and significant.
- Ability to heal of the guilt and loss of a marriage
- Forgiving myself and others involve
- Taking the step to annulment
- A sense of security and stability
- My relationships have transformed
- A new look on life
- Providing all we need
Not only a rekindled love with my maker, but a new love relationship, one that is devoted to God, making HIM #1. We spend hours in devotion together and keep HIM at the forefront. I am in awe of what has transpired in this area and will only believe that HE has put this man in my life exactly
when and where HE felt fit.
My partner and I shake our heads at what we consider to be an obvious gift from GOD! This is the first time I have recognized what love looks like through God. While Covid has destroyed many lives and has disrupted all, this has been the most beautiful year that I can recall in many years.
Although there are many challenges and reminders along the way, I know HE is with me, every step. I can’t explain it, but when I start to slip or forget, HE does something to remind me of HIS presence- I see it all the time and I usually respond with a “Thanks for the reminder”. My relationship with GOD is different then it ever has been before.
I want HIM right beside me every step. I am not going through the motions to appease anyone else. This is me loving HIM with all my heart. This experience has allowed me to trust HIM with my whole heart.
I continue to surrender to his will and know that he has a plan for me and for all of us.